Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Can you read this in Heaven? Do you check in on us? We all miss you. It is almost Christmas, it is next week. I am having everyone over for finger foods and to watch the kids open presents, just like you always did. The kids are getting so big. Well the boys are, Alta is getting taller. Parker is starting to forget you, but every once in a while he remembers and says something about you. And when I'm sad, he asks if I still miss you. I answer that I will always miss you. Landon doesn't talk about you much either, but he remembers you. It doesn't seem right that our world keeps moving without you. I saw a lady yesterday at the grocery store, she was built just like you and had the same hair color and cut, and since I only saw her from behind, for a second I got excited and thought it was you. I was so happyy that I finally found you. And then, I remembered. It couldn't be you. I wonder if I will ever stop searching for you, if I will ever stop getting butterflies everytime the phone rings. It doesn't feel like you are gone. Just away. And that you will be back. And how I wish that were true. It will be 4 months this month. It seems like yesterday. But at the same time, an eternity. I hope you are having fun up there. I hope we will meet again someday, but not very soon. I still have a lot to do down here. So, Merry Christmas, Mom. Have a great time celebrating up there with family and friends that have gone before or maybe after you.

Update on Alta

Alta has been seeing a GI for her reflux and poor weight gain since August. On October 18, she weighed in at 19 pounds 1 ounce. At her appointment on Thursday she weighed 18 pounds 10 ounces. So at that point, her GI decided to run a few more tests. So this coming Thursday, she will have a sweat test to see if she has cystic fibrosis. If that is negative, she will have an endoscopy done with a biopsy of her esophagus to see if she may have eosinophilic esophagitis. If that is negative we are going to try and find food allergies that cause her not to gain. We are also taking her off of dairy and soy to see if that helps. Prayers would be appreciated.

The Countdown Is On!

Today the kids and I (even Alta helped glue) made our annual Christmas countdown chain. I think this is probably the 4th year we've made it. Most of our shopping is done. I had pictures made of the kids for the grandparents, and Sam's present has been bought. I still need a few stocking stuffers for the kids and the Santa gifts.

31 days to go!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am exhausted. It is 9:07 here on the Hindrichs Homestead. We had a very nice Thanksgiving. My sister and I cooked for 22 people. We even had to clean out the garage and set up tables in there to eat. The food was delicious and the fellowship was even better. But wow, I am glad it is over. We had a little mishap that ended with us having no hot water in the kitchen, so the dishes are waiting for tomorrow when I am rested enough to boil water to wash them.

I am very thankful this year. I have had a few major losses. My mom being the biggest. I am so thankful that she was as great as a mother as she could be, though at times, I wish she wouldn't have been so good. Then maybe, just maybe, the hole she left in my heart wouldn't be so big.

Well, onto my thankful list then, yes?

First, I am thankful for our Lord. I am thankful He forgives me and loves me no matter what.
I am thankful for my husband. Without him, I wouldn't be living this wonderful life, I wouldn't have three beautiful children who call me mommy. He works hard for us, and I am truly thankful for him.
I am thankful for my kids, Landon, Parker, and Alta. My reasons for getting up in the mornings, because, you know, they never let me sleep in. Lol. My loving boys and darling daughter bring me so much joy and happiness everyday.
I am thankful for being a teen mom. Crazy right? But God works in mysterious ways and He knew that by me having my family a little earlier than most, mom would get to meet them and love them.
I am thankful for my family, my dad, Nanoo, sister and brother. They are there for me, always.
I am thankful for my angel, my mom who watches from Heaven now and shares her Thanksgiving with Jesus and her own mom and dad.
I am thankful for my animals, my chickens, dogs, and cats. They bring me comfort when no one else can.
I am thankful for our home.
I am thankful for our relatively good health.
I am thankful for many things, but the list would go on and on.

I know I say it every time, but I will get back into blogging, hopefully soon. Just right now, I am still in a dark place and could use some prayers.

Happy Thanksgiving to my readers, and happy first Heavenly Thanksgiving to my mom!

The Sugar Maker

Isn't she just the cutest toddler ever?

Blog posts coming! I promise!

I have some new blog posts in the works.

A post about cloth diapers.

About Harold the Rooster and other chicken stories.

Canning green tomatoes and apples.

My first experience lighting a fire in the wood stove.

Updates on the kids.- making ice cream

My grief.

It is here...

One month ago, mom left this world and went to Heaven.

Wow. So much has happened in this month that I want to tell her. Like, Landon lost his first tooth, he joined Boy Scouts and I became his Den Leader. Sam's grandma died, and I became the last Mrs. H on our side of the family until our boys marry. Sassy died. Fall has arrived. Landon is going to be Boba Fett, Parker a dinosaur, and Alta a strawberry for Holloween. I have picked tons of apples from our our tree and have made pies, and am going to can some. Landon is doing great in school. The kids have a cold. Parker may have an ear infection. Alta goes back to Cardinal Glennon in October.

I want to gossip about Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy. I want to talk about Ian winning Big Brother. I want to talk about her opinion on the new shows this fall.

I want to ask her so many things. Like, what should I get the kids for Christmas? Which way is better to take care of her spouse, my step-dad? How, again, did you make cabbage rolls? Sam would love some. Who is in this picture? Are you proud of me? Do you miss me up in Heaven? Are you telling Grandma Alta about my own Alta, your only granddaughter? Is she proud?

A month later, I still have the urge to call her. I still get butterflies and think the nightmare is over when 'Mom' shows up on my cell phone, only it isn't mom, it is my step dad.  I just want to talk one more time.

It is coming...

The 26th is coming. A month since mom left. A month without her advice. A month that my kids grew and mom didn't get to witness it.

I haven't been blogging. I've been down in the dumps.

2 weeks after mom died, Sam's grandma died. This past Friday, my cat, whom I have had since I was 11, had to be put to sleep. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I will try to resume blogging at a more frquent pace again. It is just hard right now.

The Nights Are the Worst

The nights are the worst. I sit and think and remember. I cry and beg God to help me. I don't sleep. I just think.

My mother died on August 26, 2012. 9 days, a counting of days that no one wants to count. But as each day passes, another day goes by without my mother. How can that be? A world without my mom? I used to think that was impossible. My mom would never die, or if she did, I would be old and gray, not 25 with 3 young kids. I deserve to still have my mother, my sister and brother deserve to still have their mother.

 It was a senseless death. A death that was, in many ways, preventable. My mother was an excellent mother, an excellent woman. She was all forgiving and loved everyone for who they were. She was the greatest grandmother any child could want. She gave back scratches and hugs and Zebra Cakes. She was a great cook, a great comforter, a great listener.  She gave without mention of receiving. She made holidays memorable. She was a great Christian. I miss her terribly.

My kids, ages 6, 3, and 14 months, will only have vague, if any, memories of her. Alta, especially, won't remember how she sounded, how she smelled, how she felt, how great her hugs were. They won't be able to pack a bag and go stay the night with maw-maw. They won't get to sing silly little kid songs with her.

What they will have are my memories. I will keep mom alive, in my mind and stories, so my kids can know and remember this wonderful woman that I was blessed to call my mom.

My family is in an emotional hurricane. We are grasping onto each other so we don't drown. Mom was our rock, our beautiful rock that is no more. We are now becoming each others' rocks, grounding each other to life and hopefully, someday, happiness again. Mom is gone, but we still have each other, we will get through this trying time. But we will never forget her. Her lessons on life and love are with me always, and I hope to instill those values into my own kids. I know, if I am  half the mom my mom was, then my kids will be fine.

I miss you, Mom. I love you. And my kids will know you through me until my last breath.

Chicken anyone?

Sometimes we bring a chicken in the house for a little lesson. This chick came in and we learned that he(she?) will hold your hand if you put a finger under his feet.

Alta loves the chickens and calls them "bawk bawk" She loves to go out with me to care for them... well really she loves to go out and holler "BAWK BAWK BAWK!" at them. 

I'm not really sure how to upload videos from photobucket. But here is a video of Ali talking to the chickens. 

Chicken Video

My BIG boy!

On August 10, Landon turned 6!!!!!!!!

My oldest turned 6 and I just can't believe it!

We had a small party at home for him and he had a great time. A lot of people came including grandparents, except my mom, friends and family.

He got a lot of nice presents and loved having the day focused on him.

Cake time!

On his actual birthday, we took the kids to the zoo. We all had a blast!

Alta going through the log

The boys and their friend!

Alta Update #1

Alta had her appointment this past Thursday at Cardinal Glennon in St. Louis with a GI. She weighs 18 pounds 12 oz. Which is her highest weight yet! Her GI was a little concerned about her weight and told us to keep on with toddler formula, which we are. She will take about 16-20 oz a day. She also will eat about 10 oz of baby food stage 2 a day. That's pretty much it.

Waiting to see the GI

Her GI isn't sure if she has plain old GERD, or reflux, or if she has a disease called Eosinophilic Esophagitis. So she put her on 30mg of Prevacid twice a day. If she has reflux, we should be seeing an improvement soon. She also had blood drawn. The GI is having a full blood panel done, including kidneys. If her blood is packed with eosinophils, we will have an upper GI done next week with a biopsy under general anesthesia. Which her GI was concerned about because she is so small. Or if her blood work comes back ok, we will have the upper GI done anyway if she shows no improvement by then.

Showing off her bandage from the blood draw

Her symptoms are refusal to eat. Choking on anything that is not liquid (including stage 3 baby foods). Throwing up, sounding congested after eating, and coughing. She is also having a hard time gaining weight.

If you want to read more on EoE, you can check THIS site out.

I would greatly appreciate prayers and good thoughts for my baby. Thanks.

Backyard Construction

....or should I say destruction?

In our backyard we had a sidewalk to no where, a large cistern with water, and  a burn pit that we didn't want. Actually, the cistern was a safety concern as it was covered with a rotten board and I was scared a child, my own or someone else's, would fall through. So with the help of my dad and a family friend we got the job done. My dad took the concrete to his house to use to prevent anymore sliding in his creek.

This is the cistern, that square hole was covered by the boards. 

Pulling out the concrete slab over the cistern. A huge black snake was living here! Ack!

The cistern with some trash and a load of dirt already in it.

Tearing up the sidewalk to nowhere. 

Tractor power!

No more cistern!

The boys played on the load of dirt while everyone worked.

Family Trip: Bald Knob Cross

The other day, Sam and I took the kids about an hour up the road to Bald Knob Cross.

They loved it, the people in the gift shop were very nice. They gave the kids a penny with a cross punched out and said something along the lines of  "Jesus is the one sent to us" and then three of the crosses that were punched out for the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. 

The view was breathtaking, and the cross is beautiful with its new siding. I would recommend a trip to see this awesome cross. It really is a nice sight to see. You can read about the history  HERE 

My Mom

My mom has been having health issues again. In fact, she had a heart attack last week. It was touch and go for a while, and she was in the hospital in A Fib for a week. But she seems to have turned around. She is still very weak and tired, but she's getting there. Hopefully, she is on the road to recovery now.

Alta

Alta has always been a difficult feeder. She spit up (projectile) a lot (multiple times a feeding) during infancy. Actually, she still does. She refused solids or didn't know how to eat them until 9 months. Now at 13 months, she is refusing food all together. She will eat a few bites of yogurt and some prepackaged baby snacks. That's pretty much it. She is drinking pediasure though. So that is a plus. She also isn't gaining weight and has weighed the same more or less a few ounces since 9 months. Her pediatrician has referred her to Cardinal Glennon in St. Louis. She has an appointment for her intake with a nurse practitioner on August 30. Wish us luck!

Why hello, chick!

Momma Fluffy, waiting for me to give her a treat.

Growing babies! They LOVE pears and tomatoes! I like how the one is eyeing me down.

What do stay at home moms do all day?

Stay-at-home-mom. Or SAHM. I have seen a few posts on facebook lately about how SAHMs are lazy, sit around all day, and they pamper themselves. And the big question, What do SAHMs do all day?

When Sam and I got married 6 years ago, we decided I would be a stay at home mom for a while. Then I started school, with the intention of going to work when I was finished. A few years later, here I am with a nice nursing degree and 3 kids. Together, we decided our kids needed me home. They are all quite young, 5, 3, and 1, and we knew that we would be paying most of my check to daycare. Plus, for a good job, I would be driving an hour to and from work. It just made sense for me to stay home, at least until our youngest, whoever that may be, is in school. We get along fine without my income. We aren't rice, but we live comfortably. So, what do I do all day?

Well, for starters, I kiss boo boos, comfort our night crier, give baths, feed and clothe kids, I read books, play games, teach letters and numbers, how to share, and how things work. I also watch when someone says "look mommy!" I babysit babydolls and stuffed animals, I am a patient for future nurses (or doctors), I tickle backs and tummies, and most importantly, I love.

But it's not all good things. I punish, I correct a pincher, I sit someone in timeout, I say "no, we don't talk potty talk" a million times a day. I am the bad guy sometimes. I change a diaper, I wipe a butt, a nose, or hands.

Then, there are the household duties. The cleaning, the laundry, the yardwork, the animal care, the car cleaning.

A typical day for me starts at 6-8 depending on when Alta decides to wake up. From there, she gets a diaper change and a cup of milk. While she drinks, I get myself dressed. By the time that's done, the boys are pounding down the steps. I make and feed them breakfast. I feed the dogs, the cats, the chickens, make sure the hamster has food, and make sure everyone has water. I might feed myself, if I have time. The boys then go outside and play, Alta plays around the house while I do dishes and laundry. Then it is snack time. While they eat their snacks, I pick up the living room or bathroom or both, if there is time. After snacks, Alta takes a nap. The boys do their thing, usually back outside, they would live out there if I would let them. I do outside chores. Stir the compost, pick up dropped apples and pears, pick up trash or sticks, maybe weed the garden, I am also working on the garage a little bit at a time. I also try to play with the boys, if they let me, usually they will if the neighbor kids aren't around. Then I go in and make lunch, Alta will wake up, we all eat. Then I try to do school work. Parker is learning his letters and Landon is working on kindergarten and first grade things so he doesn't forget or fall behind for when school starts. Alta sits in her high chair and listens to us sing and learn. We also will try to do a craft or color or play with play-doh or paint at this time. Then it is back outside, but this time Ali and I go too. We spend an hour or so playing in the yard. Then come in for snacks again. Then I pick up the house again. The boys go back out and Ali and I putter around the house. We play with her toys, read, or just sit and cuddle. She then takes a nap, if I'm lucky. During this nap, I finish what I didn't get to during her first nap and then clean the floors or something else that I can't do when she is awake. After she wakes up I start thinking about dinner and start it while she plays around the house. Around 7:00 I have the boys put away all outside toys and come in. They then pick up any toys around the house. Sam gets home at 7:50, we eat, the kids get a bath and go to bed. Hopefully by 9, again, if I am lucky. I try to pick up anything that's left out if I have the energy. We spend time together watching TV or whatever. We go to bed around 11. We sleep, and then another day starts.

This is my typical day. Throw in the days where I have to go shopping, pay bills, or go take care of my mom, or even worse, if someone is sick, all the above gets even more busy.

I laugh when I see someone commenting that a SAHM does nothing all day. I laugh, because, really, they have no idea.


Some days I would gladly trade it in for a daycare and scrubs. But normally, I love my job, I love taking care of my kids, I love being here when my husband gets home from work and taking care of him. I love that I have a husband, who takes care of our financial needs, while I take care of our emotional needs. It is a busy life, but it is a good one. 

The Chickens Have Arrived!

Well, all our efforts have paid off. We have now added a mommy hen and 7 baby chicks to our family. The mom is a Buff  Orpington. I guess the chicks are as well, but maybe not, I'm not sure who the rooster was.

But before they could come, we had to get the coop in working order. First, Sam had to clean the coop out, it was filled with trash and general rubbish such as dirt, leaves, mud dauber nests, sticks, and the like. Then he built a door for it and put up chicken wire in the windows. This winter we will cover the windows with plexi glass. He cut out a chicken door and made a clever door that slides up and down and locks for the night. After putting up a temporary run made of chicken wire and fence poles and a few coats of paint, the coop was ready! We put together a kit of nesting boxes and Sam put up roosting poles. We used river sand to cover the floor of the coop, which when it is changed out, it will go in my compost bin (another post).

Sam fixing the door jam

Inside of the chicken coop with the chicken door up

Nesting Boxes

Roosting bars

"Fluffy" and her babies

Baby chicks eating food and proud momma watching.

Me!

I saw this on a blog I follow recently and thought it was cute. Here is a few things about me.

I am pretty much a prude. I wasn't always like this, but I am now.

I drink only occasionally. But I usually drink wine when I do drink.

I feel like I was made to be a stay at home mom.

I think cloth diapers are a great choice, but I won't judge if you don't.

I wish I could successfully breast feed. But I can't, I just don't make enough milk. I still give it my all.

I play clarinet, piano, and the sax. I am going to teach my kids to read music.

I love to read. Especially Christian novels by Janette Oke.

I am a Christian.

I should be cleaning right now.

I enjoy going places with my kids and taking them to exciting places over going out alone or with friends.

I believe in soul mates and believe my husband is mine.

Silly Boy

Silly boy using the outline of foam stickers to make a beard. Notice his black eye he got from a head bump with his brother on a trampoline. They are not allowed on it anymore!

Sewing

We cloth diaper. Ali is our second baby to be diapered with cloth. In fact, this time last year I had 2 in cloth. So I had some leftover fabric from making burp rags for Ali, so I decided to try my hand at making an insert for Ali's diapers. I cut my pattern which was altered from Babyville by JoAnn's. I cut 2 pieces of flannel for the outside and 2 pieces of a microfiber dust rag with an extra piece at her wetzone for the inside. I stitched it up, using a zig zag stitch for the first time (and I suck at it) and got it done. Next time I think I will sew a piece of micro fiber to a piece of flannel, and then sew them inside out and top stitch. Mostly because I am good at that. haha.

Crafting With the Boys

The other day for our summer school art projects, we painted bird houses and jewelry boxes.

The fun begins

Concentrating...

Picking his first color

This is what Ali was doing while the big boys painted.

Happy Birthday Alta!

On June 20, at 12:38 pm Alta turned one! It is hard for me to believe that it has been a year since she was born. But at the same time, we have had a million changes in that year as well. For starters, I graduated college, we had our third baby, we moved. But not all things are good. My mom's health has went horribly down hill in this past year.

But enough about that. Ali is a runner now on her short stubby legs. She weighs in at 18 pounds and 26 3/4 inches tall. She has 8 teeth. She says: mommy, dada, Lannen (Landon), Pa (Parker), dog, kitty, cat, choo choo, no, go, eat, bite, down, ball, bye, hi, what's this?, what's that? and probably more, but I can't think of them now. Some things are hard to understand, but she does say them. She will also repeat things... such as shit. oops.

Her party was a great success and was shared with all her grandparents, two aunts, an uncle, a cousin, mommy and daddy, her brothers, daddy's "work mom", and all the neighborhood kids.

She loved her cake and chowed down immediately. But was a little overwhelmed with her presents and all the people.

Her party theme was: Ali in One-derland.

I made her a tu-tu and a head band, which she wore all of two minutes, I also made her a "one" onesie.

Ali in One-derland

Smash cake

Mad Hatter cake

"One"

Back

Yummy Presents

Hmm, this looks fun!

Yay for cake!

This stuff is good!

Alright! I'm done! Now clean me up!